By Stephanie Holland, Clare Ward
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Additional resources for Assertiveness
Appendix I is divided into ten sections, which correspond to the relevant chapters. Each section contains an outline session plan, which is based on a two-hour group session. We recognise that not everyone will work in this way: some therapists may only have half an hour with an individual, or an hour-long group. The purpose of this plan is to provide you with a flexible programme which can be adapted to suit the needs of your clients. We have included handouts which summarise the main points from each chapter and which can be used both as a reminder for the client and as a teaching aid for the therapist.
We may have a different opinion from someone else, we may feel angry or sad, we may want to share our thoughts or keep them to ourselves, but if we accept that we have the right to express them we can choose whether we wish to do so or not. " She told the group how often she disagreed but never said so; after all, he was more intelligent, capable and knowledgeable than she was. She used to walk away from the discussion, saying to herself that she did not agree with him. Finally she had the courage to speak the unspeakable and explain how she felt differently about things.
It is true that, when we behave aggressively, we stand up for our rights, express our views and state our needs, but the one important difference is that we do this without any thought or consideration for others' feelings. Compromise is impossible because it may mean 'losing'. If threatened or challenged we attack; the attack may be verbal or physical, and others' response to it is either to back off, become defensive, or to respond with similar force. People often mistake aggressive behaviour for a manifestation of supreme confidence.